We’ve all been there, right?
You’re working toward a goal, trying to form positive habits or just generally try to be a better human…when something gets in your way and prevents further progress.
The roadblock might be a person, an illness, a mental block. It could even be a prolonged rut that you just can’t seem to get out of.
The point is, something’s stopping you from moving forward. And just like when you’re driving along and get stuck in traffic (or for my homies with #elkhartprobz, when there’s a super long train), you tend to get stressed, anxious and maybe even freak out a little.
You worry about getting where you need to go. It’s totally normal.
But, does stressing, getting anxious or freaking out actually decrease the amount of time you spend in the traffic jam?
Does it help you get where you need to go?
Plus, when you enter freak out mode, it takes a minute to snap out of it. So then the remainder of the ride turns into a tensionfest, with the potential to continue when you arrive at your destination. To think, that all could have been an opportunity to roll down the windows, blast your fave playlist and arrive at your destination beamingly refreshed.
Roadblocks can be opportunities, if you allow them to be.
When you’re working toward a goal, and something gets in your way, you have the power to decide how you respond to that roadblock.
But what about when that thing in your way doesn’t even appear to be a roadblock? What if it feels like full-on, final destination, the-road-ends-here failure?
Allow me to be straight up with you for a sec: you allow challenging experiences to become failures when you refuse to see (or create!) a silver lining for the situation.
That’s why today, I’m going to share a few simple strategies that you can use to achieve your most important goals, form positive habits and be a better human — without white-knuckling the whole way to your destination. These tips will show you it’s totally possible to enjoy the process — even when roadblocks come up.
Let’s say that right now you want to:
- Switch careers…but you feel like you have to go back to school in order to do so
- Or graduate with a 3.8 GPA…but one professor’s policies are making it nearly impossible
- Or move to a new city…but you have zero friends or connections there
- Or train and run a marathon…but you’ve never committed to any athletic feat in your life
- Or do/achieve/become anything else…but you feel like your success is contingent upon some other, heavily-weighted, external factor.
No matter what you want to do/achieve/become, no matter what circumstances are stopping you in this moment… it’s completely possible to get what you want. But first, you’ll have to shift your perspective.
Now, let’s talk about how to do that.
You won’t need all of these strategies at once, and sometimes it’s tough to know where to begin when you’re feeling super stuck. I’ll present the tips in the order I think you should test them out to see if they work for your specific situation. If the first one isn’t the answer, no worries. Move on to the second.
This might take a little patience and persistence on your part. If you could use a little extra motivation, group coaching and supportive connections as you work toward getting more out of life click here for an invite to the free, Brain Body Boss Life online community.
First, figure out if this is really what you want.
If you’re going to commit to seeing this “thing” through to completion, you want to make sure it’s aligned with what you really want, long term. Or, at the very least, that it contributes to how you’d like your life to look over the course of the next 3-5 years. Here’s how to know if you’re on point:
- Draw a picture or write a detailed description of what you want your life to look like and feel like in 3-5 years.
- Draw a picture or write a detailed description of what your life will look and feel like once you’ve accomplished/completed/mastered your goal or whatever it is you’re working toward.
- Ask yourself if picture/description #2 paints or completes even a tiny portion of picture/description #1. In other words, will accomplishing/completing/mastering #2 help you accomplish/complete/master #1?
- Decide if this is the right first step. Is there something else that, if you accomplished/completed/mastered it first, would make #2 and #1 a whole lot easier to accomplish/complete/master?
Get a second opinion.
Even if you’re working toward a goal or achievement that you think is exceptionally original, someone else has likely already done it. Or attempted something similar. Ask them about it. (If you’re all like, “But how?!? I don’t know how to get ahold of them..wahhhhh.” To that I say, Google it. The world’s a very small place these days.)
You may discover that someone else has encountered similar roadblocks. And their unique perspective on your situation could help you arrive at an “aha” moment — in half the time with half the effort it would’ve required if you’d kept trying to muscle through the problem solo.
Explore alternative routes.
Now that you know, specifically, what it is you want, your eyes are open. You’ll start to discover alternative routes to your destination.
Often when we feel stuck, we’re really just blind to (or scared of) possibility.
If you’re someone who likes to take a planned-out, step-by-step approach to life, I’d encourage you to find some step-by-step instructions on how to step out of your comfort zone and, in the words of badass author Jen Sincero, loosen your bone, Wilma.
But, if you’ve been wandering around trying to “figure out your life” for the past six months and that’s why you’re feeling stuck…well, then you probably need a plan. Ask that girl over there who’s mustering up the courage to meander out of her comfort zone. I hear she’s got a beautifully-organized plan you can borrow to start moving forward. Once get a tiny bit of momentum, you’ll begin to form a clear direction. And you’ll feel like you’re finally figuring things out.
Make a decision and make it right.
“So AnnMarie, you’re telling me that if I use your tips, I’ll find clarity, stop freaking out and finally be able to move forward In the right direction? Even though I feel like it’s totally impossible right now?”
But first you have to DECIDE these tips will work for you. And then they will.
See, this isn’t a step-by-step plan to take you from Point A to Point B. It’s different from the sort of thing you’d find in a book about weight loss, or on a financial goal-setting site, or as part of a 2-month plan to find the man of your dreams.
Because, chances are, you probably don’t need another step-by-step plan. You don’t need an answer that’s going to take you directly from here to there.
All you need to get from where you are today, to where you want to go, is a subtle shift in your perspective. Once you’re able to see things a little differently, clarity will come to you in a powerful way.
Want to hang out with cool people who can help you find clarity even faster? Click here for your invitation to join the free, Brain Body Boss Life online community.